Sloth, everybody’s favorite retarded member of The Goonies, will have to watch his eerie look-a-like brother Tom Gorzelanny somewhere other than PNC park: Gorzelanny was optioned to AAA Indianapolis. After a spring filled with hits, walks and a 7.00 ERA, the Pirates decided that they could whittle their four-man race for their final two starting spots down to three. Jeff Karstens, Virgil Vazquez and Ross Ohlendorf will compete in a winner-take-all game of Scattegories if the race continues to stay close.
For all of you Pirates fans and fantasy nerds, you’ll remember Gorzelanny as a man who went 14-10 with a 3.88 ERA two years ago, only to self-destruct in 2008: compiling a 6.66 in 20 starts with the Buccos. 6.66 ERA, eh? You’d have thought Gorzelanny would have sold his soul to look better, no have one mediocre season with the Pirates. But on the bright side, I heard Indianapolis is stocking up on Baby Ruths.