by Andy Paschen
So I’m taking time out of my busy schedule to read ESPN.com’s Baseball Tonight Clubhouse in order to learn more and become a more valuable member of society. Knowledge is power people. Shortly into the segment I come across a little nugget of information written by verified asshat Steve Phillips. When discussing the N.L. Central race, he states that the Cubs are the odds on favorite, but:
Still, we should remember that the St. Louis Cardinals won 86 games a year ago without a single win from Chris Carpenter or Adam Wainwright, both of whom were hurt for a good part of the year. Both are back in the starting rotation this year, so the Cardinals should be a legitimate threat to the Cubs in the division.
What’s the problem with that? Am I just a curmudgeonly crum-bum, whining because he is overrating the Cardinals like everyone else in America? No. It angers me because Wainwright won 11 games last year for the Cardinals not zero, as his sentence implies. How do you mix up 11 wins with zero? Did you take kindergarten? Did you pass? Your job, your single, solitary occupation in life, is to be an expert of baseball. And you failed. Miserably. If ineptitude were a fashion, you’d be the Christian Dior of life.
Steve Phillips: You are the opposite of talented, and may God have mercy on your soul.