by Andy Paschen
Well, well, well. Who’s the sucker now? That’s right, thanks to longtime friend, representative of Made Men Inc. and occasional MWS reader Elie Zenner, Papa Paschen is headed to today’s Cubs game against the Colorado Rockies at 1:20 pm.
Oh what’s that? You’re stuck at work? School? Trapped in a closet? Too bad, because I’m going to be sucking down Old Styles and heckling Jason Marquis. (Hey Jason, you throw like a girl! Got ’em.) But it’s not all rainbows and love-making: This will be the first game in years I haven’t worn my 1908 blue throwback jersey, because the invite was impromptu and I am in business (very) casual attire. If you are watching the games, try to find the guy in the grey peacoat and sweet flowing, golden-brown locks of hair shimmering like amber waves of grain. Thank you Pantene Pro-V.
Here’s the rundown of today’s game of the Cubs (5-2) and the Rockies (3-4):
- Rich Harden (0-0 1.50 ERA) vs. Jason “I throw like a girl” Marquis (1-0 2.57 ERA)
- 7th inning stretch singer: That’s right, Marty McFly himself. The one, the only, Michael J. Fox! It’s like God knew I was going to be at this game.
- Game time temp: 40s-50s
- Injury report:
Out – Milton Bradley (right groin)
Probable – Geovany Soto (right shoulder)
Probable – Aramis Ramirez (back)
Expected to play – Rich Harden (overexposure to badassness)
Probable – Brad Hawpe (right quad)
Expected to play – Marquis (overexposure to bitchassness)
Hopefully this will lead to a good post in the coming days, but who knows? After the grilling Statler and Waldorf gave us, my confidence is shot. Danny, Josh — take care of our baby while daddy is away.