101 Ways to Know You’re Worthless

By Danny Mehigan

The bad jokes write themselves

The bad jokes write themselves

*Note: This post only covers one way to know you’re worthless. But 101 just has a better ring to it …

Pictured above is minor league baseball player Jason Tyner. In the grand scheme of things (like compared to you and I), Tyner is a very good baseball player. He has played in 440 major league games with a career average of .275, he stole 31 bases in 2001 as a member of the Devil Rays, and played solid if not spectacular defense. Compared to his colleagues in pro baseball though, he’s worthless. Like literally worthless.

On Thursday, he may have received the most humbling news to ever greet a professional athlete.

The outfielder was traded from Milwaukee (he was playing for AAA Nashville) to Detroit. And in return, the Brewers received … uh, nothing.

The official language says he was traded for future considerations. Brewers assistant GM Gord Ash laughed and said that the considerations would be a cup of coffee at the Winter Meetings. Seriously.

In a baseball sense, it’s technically logical. The Crew gets rid of the guy and will likely get the benefit of the doubt in future dealings with Detroit. This guy isn’t a stud, but at least Milwaukee was able to decide where he went – you wouldn’t want him coming back to haunt you as a member of the suddenly ballerific Pirates. Tyner doesn’t have to say he got released (keep that dignity, dude). Detroit needed someone to play outfield in AAA, and they got an experienced guy without having to give anything up.

Who am I kidding? Dude got traded for a cup of coffee that two guys may or may not have 8 months from now. At least these days coffee costs like $5.

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2 Comments

Filed under Milwaukee Brewers

2 responses to “101 Ways to Know You’re Worthless

  1. apaschen

    Way #2: You write for this blog.

  2. dpmehigan

    Ow. My pride.

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