by Andy Paschen
I know how you feel kid. I know how you feel all too well …
Cubs lose the series: W-L-L
Cubs Series Record: 3-1-1 (8-6 overall)
- What Milton Bradley game was Milton Bradley? Mouse Trap. You take all that time and effort setting up the boot and the pail and the marbles and shit (like signing Milton Bradley to a $30 million deal and putting him 4th in the order) and when someone finally does get on the circle underneath the upside-down clothes basket or birdcage or what have you, somewhere along the line something gets caught and nothing happened (Bradley bats .043 and gets injured). Basically, if that Mouse Trap doesn’t fall down soon I want my money back.
- Bueller? Bueller? Offense? Anyone? No? Great. Seven runs in game one, two in the next two games. I can’t wait for the weather to warm up. and Milton Bradley to remember he’s a professional baseball player.
- Your first real roster move is here … Shark in the water! Gone is Luis Vizcaino, who was designated for assignment (read: released) and up comes Jeff Samardzija, who MWS wanted up in the bigs from the start.
Tuesday: A. 3 IP no runs 3 H between Aaron Heilman (1.o IP) Neal Cotts (0.1 IP) Carlos Marmol (0.2 IP) and Vizcaino (1.0 IP – the last IP he ever IPed for the Cubs) means the bullpen gets a gold star today.
Wednesday: C-. 2ER in 2 IP doesn’t not a good bullpen make. Angel “El Pobrecito” Guzman and Kevin Gregg share the blame for killing any potential Cubsback (Cubs comeback).
Thursday: C-. 2 IP turns into 3 ERs and cements the Cubs first losing series. Cotts surrendered the first and El Pobrecito was responsible for the next two. I have a feeling Cotts is going to have a lot in common with Scott Eyre pretty soon if he doesn’t shape up. Especially the ex-Cub part.
Bullpen season GPA: 2.81 (B-) GPA through 14 games. With the addition of Jeff Samardzjia there’s reason to believe the number will steadily improve. But without any quality left-handers the improvement might take longer than it should.
Tuesday’s Hero: Aramis Ramirez. 3-5 3 RBI and the hit that chased Micah Owings out of the game in the fifth. Fearless prediction: this will be the most productive year (barring injury) Ramirez has had as a Cub. Also, is he not one of the most underrated players in the N.L.? You would think it would be impossible for a Cub to be underrated, but he might be the truth.
Wednesday’s Goat: Milton Bradley. 0-4 3K 3 LOB and a pathetic excuse of running out a ground ball. Next time you see Bradley in the line-up, and who in Starbuck’s Viper knows when that’ll be, he’ll be batting 6th.
Thursday’s Goat: Micah Hoffpauir. 1-4 4 LOB and an error that turned a 3-1 game into a 4-1 game.
Hero/Goat season leaders:
Hero Squad: Soriano, Ramirez – 2.
Fontenot, Fukudome, Johnson, Lilly, Zambrano, Ramirez – 1.
Goat Bastards: Bradley – 2. Cotts, Fontenot, Gregg, Harden, Hoffpauir, Patton – 1.