by Andy Paschen
One of the great things about the interweb is its function as one giant tape recorder. If you say something remotely near a camera, recorder — really anything with a red circle on it — it’s going to go onto the world wide web and stay there. Forever. Well, until those damn, dirty apes take over. So in five years, when the quote I have diligently recorded comes to light, I hope someone calls out the creator of said quote for being decidedly stupid.
From the lips of Peter King after being peeled off of Brett Favre’s ass, about NFL fans declaring #1 pick Matthew Stafford a bust:
“Those fans are stupid. Quote me on that. Here’s what I would say about all this Johnny-come-lately criticism of Matthew Stafford. And again I’m not his PR guy … Here’s a guy who’s got one of the best arms to come out in years, he’s very bright, you ask the guys on his team if they like him — they go to war for him — and all of a sudden this guy is a worthless piece of crap? What has gotten into the fans who think that they know more than the people who are doing the draft? … Why do we think Matthew Stafford is a bum?”
Well Pete (can I call you Pete?) here’s the rub: We think Mr. Stafford is a bum because the Detroit Lions went 0-16, and if he plays a single down for the hapless kitty cats any talent that he has is going to be sucked from him dry. No offensive line, no running game, one receiver and no defense. That is precisely how you don’t break in a rookie quarterback. As for Stafford, well, he completed a measly 57% of his passes in college. As my friend Joe Richardson told me, no 1st round QB worth shit in the league passes under 60% in college. Doesn’t happen. Look it up, Joe Richardson did.
Finally, put a $78 millon dollar cherry on top ($41.7 guaranteed) and you have just made a bust sundae tailored to Matthew Stafford’s exact specifications. Eat up Pete, because the indigestion is coming around five years from now.