by Danny Mehigan
Okay, let’s get the important information out of the way first. The Brewers have now beaten the Pirates 15 straight times. In terms of games solely at Miller Park, Milwaukee has defeated Pittsburgh 18 straight times. That’s some Harlem Globetrotters over the Washington Generals type shit, but with less confetti. That’s like the rest of the NFL against the Detroit Lions, but with less Matt Millen. It’s like the Somalian pirates aboard the Maersk Alabama against Navy snipers, but with less freed hostages.
Monday – Brewers 10, Pirates 5: The Crew used the long ball (like they ever do anything else) to win going away on Monday night. Ryan Braun hit a bomb in the first inning, Rickie Weeks hit a 3-run shot and Mike Cameron added a solo jack as well. After the bullpen blew a 5-1 lead, the Brewers scored five in the 8th to re-take the lead. Trevor Hoffman finally made his debut with a clean 9th inning in a non-save situation. The fun got started when Braun got drilled in the back by Jeff Karstens in the third inning and tempers flared. Jason Kendall got hit twice later on, but Braunie made some inciteful comments after the game about “retaliation coming soon.” Rabble rousing initiated.
Tuesday – Brewers 6, Pirates 5: Rabble rousing continues! Dave Bush hits three Pittsburgh hitters, but there were no warnings. No fights. No nothing. Talk about a letdown. The Pirates led 5-1 in the 5th, but two runs in the 5th and three in the 6th gave Milwaukee the lead and the bullpen locked it down with four shutout innings. Hoffman got his first save as “Hells Bells” officially gets its new home. Rickie Weeks continues to make errors at the rate of a Little League player, but his oh-fense still keeps him afloat.
Wednesday – Brewers 1, Pirates 0: Two words: Yovani. Gallardo. For all the haters that thought Gallardo wasn’t going to be an ace to replace Ben Sheets or CC Sabathia, why don’t you take a look at his last three starts and get ready to taste it for years to come? Today’s episode included 8 innings pitched, two hits for the opposition, one walk and 11 hitters told to sit down and shut up (yes Dr. Einstein, those would be strikeouts). And when his offense refused to help him out, he hit a solo home run deep into the bleachers. Ian Snell pitched very well for the Pirates but Yo feels no remorse.
Hot Fire Player of the Series: Gallardo. See directly above.
Weak Sauce Player of the Series: It’s always a good thing when this category has few deserving recipients. I’m going to go with Jason Kendall simply because his offense has been atrocious all season (.164 batting average) and he only has one extra-base hit in 55 ABs. He went 0-for-6 against the Pirates, though he did draw two walks and get hit twice. In other news, J.J. Hardy fought hard for the award by going 0-for-10. But since Mike Rivera sprained his ankle on Tuesday and just hit the disabled list, Kendall is the Crew’s only healthy catcher. Get your game up, Jason.
Records: 11-10, tied for 2nd in the Central. 5-4 at home.
Next up: The Diamondbacks come into Miller Park for a four-game series … the only starting pitcher not to throw will be Gallardo.