Remember that shitty doily you made your mom for Mother’s Day? That’s not what she wanted. No, when she gave birth to you, she hoped you would grow up to become a Milwaukee Brewer fan, go to a Crew-Cubs game on Mother’s Day and get your no-pants dance on before you’re hauled off to the cooler. Tip of the cap to Busted Coverage for this one.
If you can’t get naked in in public in Wisconsin, then I’m not sure I’m proud to be an American anymore.
Just kidding. Go America!