Hey KC: Stick your BBQ up your A-S-S

YOU BLEW IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YOU BLEW IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

By Josh Mosley

I’m not a Missouri supremacist. I mean, why would I? It’s not like I call the state’s best city (St. Louis) my home. I don’t throw the Chiefs or the Royals in the face of Kansas City people whenever they want to step up about who rules the Show-Me State. So for the last time I don’t not think that St. Louis is better than Kansas City. There. Let’s be peaceful. Hip hop hugs and handshakes.

On to interleague play. Interleague play entered our lexicon about the same time as Gigapets, the word “hella” and those goofy ass Dr. Seuss hats. The previous three lost their novelty circa 1999 and, for my money, interleague play’s novelty was lost then too. But alas we push on. At least they missed Zack ” Chicks with purity rings get scored on more than I do” Greinke. Vamonos!!!

Friday: What do you know? Todd Wellemeyer starts a game and I have nothing snide or crippling to say about his pitch count and don’t use the words “weak” and “sauce” to describe him. Maybe I’m maturing. Or maybe he just had a good day. Either way, Wellemeyer brought the business to start the four day Memorial Day weekend by picking up his fourth win of the season. Todd cruised through six innings of three hit ball as the Royals were more likely to hit on blackjack than hit him. While that silliness was going on, the Birds unsung bats came alive. Newbie Nick Stavinoha drove in two in the first, a lead that stuck until the seventh when Tyler Greene did some pro bono yard work with his second home run of the season. Khalil Greene added two RBI’s of his own later to finish off the scoring while three STL relievers combined to get the final nine outs. Peace up. KC step down. Cards win 5-0.

Saturday: Phone call for Kyle Lohse. It’s the schnide. She’d like you to get off of her. Kyle seems to have gotten the message loud and clear for the time being. After dropping his last three decisions he seems to remember how much of a beast he was in April going eight innings, walking nobody while scattering four hits and striking out six. Nice throwing, Kyle. Try and keep it going. While that was going on, Stavinoha picked up right from where he left off the night before, slapping in two runs in the first inning to get the early lead. Skip Schumaker added a dinger in the third and the Cards manufactured the last two runs via walks and fielders choice. When the big fireworks aren’t happening from guys like Pujols and Ludwick, at least the role players (or the other three ‘N Sync guys to Pujols and Ludwick’s Justin and JC as I like to think of them) pick up the slack. Another win. Another five spot for the Cards and another goose egg for the Royals. Cards win 5-0.

Sunday: Who can blame Joel Piniero if he had a little setback after throwing a complete game against the Cubbies? I CAN!!! I keed I keed. Despite giving up RBI base hits to Jose Guillen and Brian Bannister in the first and fifth innings, Tonic Tony stuck with Piniero, who gave up three runs and eight hits in seven innings. He even tried to help his own cause, singling in Yadi Molina in the sixth inning to tie the game at two. But those pesky Royals didn’t go easily getting the game winning hit from pinch hitter Mike Jacobs. Five straight is good stuff though. Not good enough, however. Royals win 3-2.

Hot Fire Player of the Series: You know him. You love him…Well you don’t really know him well yet and you are sort of on the way to loving him but for this time Nick Stavinoha takes the crown. He batted a paltry 2 for 7 but made the most of his two hits, driving in a total of four runs, all in St. Louis wins. Is he on the way to being what makes this offense go? I’m afraid he may be. He’s a beast. This Pujols joker is a flash in the pan. Overrated. Year nine is when the downfall starts. This guy said it first.

Weak Sauce Player of the Series: The Royals as a whole for winning a game that Greinke doesn’t start. Bad form. This is chaos in its worst form and I for one will not stand for it. You have the balls to not throw him on short rest and then throw salt in the wounds by WINNING the game? Mr. Greinke, if you are reading, you have a home on the other side of the state if you feel unappreciated. Seriously…

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