By Josh Mosley
Of the two times I have visited the great state of California, one of my stops was in the city of San Francisco. Great town in terms of stuff to see. The downtown was really aesthetically appealing (if you don’t know what aesthetic is, look it up. Learn something, my babies). A couple of things I recall:
1. This dude painted in gold was holding shop in a quad like place for tourists and was trying to cake on my older sister. Funny because my sister was getting entertained by someone who was a mullet and a tight unitard away from being Ziggy Stardust. Kind of disturbing because dude took the time to paint himself GOLD.
2. I was 12 when I went so the image of dudes taking carriage rides through downtown San Fran didn’t really click with me. “Oh…they must be really good friends. Just chattin’….look an accidental hand graze. He must have a headache or something because the really dressed up guy has his head on the buff black guys head. They must play FOOTBALL together.” DUH!!!!
Oh and the Cards played in San Fran this past weekend so that’s why I told that story. See there was method to my ramble.
Friday: You got to love coming off winning a series that put you in first place, having a day off and then dropping a stinker that reeking of hot wings and beer. And the Giants Matt Cain was the benefactor of a STL offense that spent May teetering between mediocre and bad. And they finished off the fifth month of ’09 true to form (although I don’t know if the term “to form” counts when you are doing bad). Cain made the Cards look silly to the tune of two runs in six and a third innings. It was Cain’s fourth straight decision while Cards hurler Joel Piniero lost for the fourth straight time. That’s something I learned in journalism school: drawing connections via numbers. Yayyyyyyyy. Giants score some runs. They win. Super exciting stuff. Giants win 4-2.
Saturday: Look at Chris Carpenter. Surrendering runs and losing his street cred. Sickens me. But at least he is still winning games. Following a no-decision against Milwaukee on Monday, in which that assbag Greg Counsell broke up a perfect game in seventh inning, He struck out five over six innings as Dave Duncan and Co. continue to play it smart and monitor his pitch count as he comes back. Meanwhile, the Cards scored six runs over the past six innings to pull away. Pujols went yard in the fourth and ninth inning to bookend the scoring while Chris Duncan and Colby Rasmus tacked on RBI’s of their own in between. Happy days are here again. Cards win 6-2.
Sunday: Sunday best were not brought today, boys. Nick Stavinoha, who had been coming up big like Robert Horry the last couple of weeks since he started getting consistent PT, knocked in a two-run double in the fifth to make the score 3-1. As for the pitching, you can’t really bag on Adam Wainwright too much. Well I can. About a lot of things. If I continue to dig and spotlight his greatest insecurity. Give me some time and I’ll come up big. Anyway, he lost for the first time in five road starts. This late in the season and he’s just now losing on the road? I’ll take it. Still the bullpen screwed the pooch on this one, leaving the Cards with a series loss to end the month 13-14. Sigh. Giants win 5-3.
Hotfire Player of the Series: None. Both teams featured a battle of mediocre wits. Nothing special. My post. My rules.
Weak Sauce Player of the Series: The Cardinals offense this entire month who is averaging a dismal 3.5 runs a game. If this was a GPA challenge, that would be just peachy. I’d take that GPA and replace it with the one I had in college as well (another story for another day). Still, if the starting pitching hadn’t been so good the last 15-20 days, this would be cause for international incident. Instead, it’s not. It’s just annoying.