Dear Brewers Fans of MWS Lore,
I have ignored you lately. You have cravings for knowledge beyond the basic box score, and I have pretended like you don’t even exist. Truthfully, I didn’t entirely miss you. The Crew has been mostly awful lately. And I have been mostly partying. That is a 50% success rate, which easily makes me the greatest baseball player of all-time. So you can tell your kids and grandkids that you knew me. And that should be enough for you.
But just in case it isn’t, and you have already grown tired of my poor jokes and merely want Brewers information, today is your lucky day. Plus, I’m back from vacation so I don’t have any excuses to dick around anymore. Onward to the news of the day:
THE PITCHING HAS COMPLETELY DISAPPEARED
Dave Bush: Bushie had struggled mightly recently. After being one of the most consistent starters earlier this season, he had gone 4 innings or less in four straight starts. He was going to take one turn off to rest a “tired arm”, but it turns out he has a micro-tear in his triceps that will put him on the DL for 2-3 weeks. The injury occured in Florida a few weeks ago when Hanley Ramirez tagged him with a line drive. The lesson here: Don’t fuck with Hanley. He’s a badass. Bush is being replaced in the rotation by Mike Burns, who will make his MLB starting debut on Thursday against the Twinkies.
Manny Parra: In a word, awful. I was at the game last Saturday when the Chi Sox ripped him for six runs in the second inning and he was quickly removed. He’s almost too bad to boo anymore – not worth the energy. The best part though … when he was sent down to AAA Nashville, the Crew didn’t even wait until after the game. They literally sent him to the minors in the 6th inning. That should tell you how bad he is. In a bit of good news, Parra has been good in his first two AAA outings. His second outing got an inordinate amount of attention because he was facing Manny Ramirez in the other Manny’s first minor league game on the road back from his ‘roids suspension. Ramirez struck out and grounded out against Parra, so in YO face Dodgers. Seth McClung will start in Parra’s place on Saturday against the San Francisco Giants (a 5th starter hadn’t been needed until now, so Manny technically hasn’t missed a turn yet).
Braden Looper: So this is why we shouldn’t keep picking up the Cardinals trash. Coming into Tuesday night’s start against Minnesota, Looper is 0-1 with a 7.97 ERA in four June starts. He is only averaging 5 innings per, which is not good considering the bullpen needs about four saviors to get rested thanks to these starters. Opponents are hitting .322 against him this month.
Jeff Suppan: Still on the Brewers. Not good.
HITTING HAS BEEN VERY EHH
We’re going to use June 1 as the cutoff for these stats, simply because it’s easy to find and I’m not in the mood to do real research right now. Bill Hall is 4 for 38 (.105 average – and his slump extends a hell of a lot farther back than that too). Mike Cameron is 9 for 61 (.148 average) and J.J. Hardy has caught fire over the past week to get himself to a .188 clip (13-of-72) for the month.
Without Casey McGehee (never thought I’d say that), Prince Fielder and Ryan Braun, this team might be in last place. McGehee is hitting .434 this month with an OPS (on base plus slugging) of 1.162. The Prince is hitting .351 with 15 extra base hits and Braunie keeps plugging along at .317 for the last 20 games.
Mat Gamel is staying with the big club. The rumors were initially that Gamel would only be in Milwaukee for the interleague games in AL parks that require a designated hitter, but with that part of the schedule over, it looks like he’s staying up with the Crew. He’s hitting .259 on the year, but has looked more comfortable at the plate and in the field as time goes on. And that is very good, because as we all know by now, Bill Hall sucks.
Is that enough for you? Probably not. But that’s all I’ve got time for. If you really don’t know what happened lately, the Crew swept Cleveland but managed to ruin the road trip by getting swept in Detroit. Before that, they went 1-5 at home against the Rockies (0-3) and White Sox (1-2). As of press time (midnight central time, Wednesday night), the Twins series is tied at a game apiece. The Brewers are in second place at 38-33 and trail the St. Louis Cardinals by one game in the division race.
I promise I shant leave you wanting for so long next time.