Midwest Swing Draft Round 9

We’re at the three quarters mark of this grand experiment of ours called the pop culture draft. Needless to say, it has been a rousing success thus far and teams are shaping up for the summer. But picks are still being made so we’ll pick it up with Mr. Danny Mehigan and the first pick in the ninth round. As always, check out the rules here. If you want links to previous rounds, you can find them at Andy’s “Read It” page.

Before Ryan Leaf’s Comeback Attempt makes the 25th selection of the draft, we need to pour out a little somethin’ somethin’ for the team’s namesake Ryan Leaf, who turned himself in to authorities the other day. He was (and is) facing nine charges stemming from a drug bust. While we support clowning here at MWS, this is a bad kind of clowning. Get your shit together Ryan, and come back strong to lead this team!

Movin’ on! With the 25th pick, RLCA selects LF Mr. Chi City.

The best still image we can get of this guy

The best still image we can get of this guy

One of the most important tasks to a spry young man these days is to attract women. Everybody knows that. And sure, there have been books written about this subject, there have been TV shows (see The Pickup Artist) and countless people who claim to know how to get the job done (Ed. note: I am not one of them.). But only one YouTube video has laid down the law using solely a refrigerator and a snack closet.

Not to mention, as you likely watch this video and enjoy its hilarity, peruse his other YouTube goldies. Not only can he teach us all how to get women thanks to a fully stocked fridge, but he’s also a Dollar Menu Millionaire and he rolls people in NBA 2K8, so you know he’s versatile. CHI-CITY MAYNE – GET MONEY, GET PAID!

With the 26th pick in the Midwest Swing Draft, the Winner Winner Chicken Parm Dinners, select LF Aziz Ansari.

Holding down left field

Holding down left field

The accompanying picture should job the memories of all you readers out there since this guy shows up in any off kilter sketch comedy show’s like Human Giant and Reno 911 and random movie of hilarity. He started off the year with a recurring role as “Ed the Intern” on Scrubs. His character got written out of that so that he could star on the Parks and Recreation, from the badass creators of the U.S. version of the Office. The show isn’t exactly my cup of tea but the parts that I have seen that include Aziz are usually the highlights of the show. And the show has been picked up for a second season so it’s possible that it might grow on me or the audience much the way Michael Scott and crew did in its second season. As for the summer, Ansari is making an appearance in manager Apatow’s latest effort, Funny People.

He’s one signature role away from breaking through and turning down the lead role in High School Musical 5: the Post Grad Party. Haha. God I hope I’m kidding. Lastly, I feel like Ansari is doing a world of good for the Muslim community, whose only turns in comedy come through turban jokes and bad South Park impersonations. He’s funny and is doing good things for his folks. He’s this generation’s Bob Hope or something.

With the 27th pick of the Midwest Swing Fantasy Baseball Draft, The Above Ground Pool Party selects SS The Complete Battlestar Galactica Series.

Look at that. Mag-nificent.

Look at that. Mag-nificent.

Ladies and gentlmen, on July 28th, one of the greatest science fiction pieces ever created will be released in its full, sexified glory. Over the past five years Battlestar Galactica has been more than simply a sci-fi television show or “something nerds masturbate to,” it’s been an accurate commentary on some of the deepest feelings humanity has towards eachother. Don’t believe me? Of course not, who am I to tell you what is important in life? I’m just the guy that freaked out when my mom cancelled my World of Warcraft account. So who might be able to tell you a little something about humanity? Oh, I don’t know, THE UNITED NATIONS perhaps? Because they asked BSG to come talk to them about important stuff that matters, like equal rights, armed conflict and hot robots.

What did I tell you? Hot robots.

What did I tell you? Hot robots.

So you better believe, when that DVD set comes out, providing me with literally hundreds of hours of entertainment, I’ll be right where I need to be: in my underpants on the couch, reliving the greatest war between man and machine that modern entertainment has ever known. Suck on that The Matrix, Transformers and the Terminator. Suck on that hard.

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1 Comment

Filed under The Rest

One response to “Midwest Swing Draft Round 9

  1. Danny Mehigan

    andy, you might as well change your team name to Best Buy. Get ya VW Bug drivin’, LeRoy Jenkins hatin’, Geek Squad supportin’ ass outta here!

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