One of these things is not like the other.

By Josh Mosley

According to MLB.com, the ceremonial first pitch at the All-Star Game in the beautiful, luxurious and murder prone city of St. Louis will be thrown out by the President of both the U.S. and of hittin’ that ass, Barack Hussein Obama.

Is this awesome? Absolutely. In fact, this might make the actual All-Star Game worth going to. We all know the sex appeal is gone after the Home Run Derby. But I want to call something to everyone’s attention. Since we started this little site, we have been nothing but words and funny one-liners to people who don’t know us from the past. There’s no face with the name. I have on occasion been told I look like Detroit Pistons forward Tayshaun Prince and, more recently, our fearless leader Mr. Obama.

SO, to make sure none of you see Barack and make an ass out of yourself by calling him Josh, I’m going give you a quick crash course in face recognition.

THIS IS ME

I'm a handsome devil.
I’m a handsome devil.

THIS IS MR. OBAMA

The only thing he has over me is the "most powerful man in the world" schtick
The only thing he has over me is the “most powerful man in the world” schtick

Okay, fans. So to recap: if you happen to come across a tall Negro gentleman in Keiner Plaza, drinking a Bud Light and who looks like Obama circa 1980, it’s not him. It’s me. If you see a guy down there in a suit surrounded by a group of me who look like the Rams third string offensive line, it’s Obama. It’s not me. Now that we cleared that up, if Obama wises up and chooses to cast me as a young version of him in his eventual biopic, don’t be offended if you don’t hear from me for a while. I’m getting my Hollywood on.

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