It’s a question as old a time itself, if time started around the turn of the 20th century. A question discussed through the ages from Rogers Park to the Wild 100s, Lake Michigan to The Arch. It’s a question without a quantifiable answer, until now. Who should Cubs fans hate more, the Chicago White Sox or the St. Louis Cardinals? (Part one is here. Two, here)
Did you think I was just going to abandon my five-part series on who should draw Cubs’ hatred more after part two? Don’t worry my little chickadees, daddy-bird is going to regurgitate some knowledge for you. Since We’ve already discussed which team’s players deserve to be hated more and which team’s success should be more obnoxious, it’s time to turn our attention over to the history of the franchises. Sadly, before we even get into the discussion, it’s 100% obvious who is going to win this hate-off.
The White Sox’s History
Let’s see … hmm … Before 2005 the White Sox hadn’t won shit for 80+ years … what else … Oh, nobody in Chicago cared about them whatsoever … and Frank Thomas’ looked like an enormous baby. Did I miss anything? No? Ok, moving on.
The St. Louis Cardinals’ History
Jesus crap-sandwich. How I hate everything about the history of the Cardinals. From the inane, inaccurate references to them as “the Yankees of the N.L.” (they have 16 more World Series than you! The gap in the number of World Series-es between you two alone is greater than the number of World Series you have St. Louis) to the stupid, stupid self-aggrandizing claims like, “Welcome to Baseball Heaven” and “The Greatest Baseball City in the World,” everything about the history and tradition of the Cardinals is more painfully annoying than pouring acid onto your scrotum.
We get it St. Louis. You win a lot of N.L. baseball games (Though not against the Cubs — losers!). You’ve had a lot of hall-of-famers (Even though the number of HOFers with a Cardinal hat on is the same as the number of Cubbies – 9). And yes Lou Brock for Ernie Broglio was not the best move the Cubs ever made, but hey, we needed cap space. Lou Brock wore something like a size 8! Edge: Cardinals.