Central Booking: Slow Day in the Streets

by Josh Mosley
Only nine games went down in the majors last night. And lucky for you, the Central had five of those games. Join us won’t you?

Brewers 12-9 Padres: And the big hits come from usual suspects Prince Fielder and Mike Rivera. Mike who? He’s just Milwaukee’s backup catcher who went yard twice and had a career-high 5 RBI’s in the Brewers’ offensive curb stomping of the Fathers. The Brewers pitching wasn’t anything to behold at all but it got the job done as Mr. Mehigan likes to say. The Crew gained a game in the division while Pujols was busy going dinger for dinger with Shaq on the Cards off night.

Make that trip twice, Mike. You earned it.

Make that trip twice, Mike. You earned it.

 

Phillies 6 – 1 Cubs: And the slide continues for the baby Bears. The Phillies jumped on the horse that was Cliff Lee and rode him to his third straight win since going to Cheese Steak city. Lee struck out eight in eight innings while giving up one run. Meanwhile, a four run fourth inning that was keyed by dingers from Pedro Feliz and Ryan Howard were ultimately the difference as the Phillies swept the Cubbies in Wrigley for the first time in 25 years.
A hippie I certainly am not but I do believe in karma. And as you look back on that moron dousing Shane Victorino with a beer shower, you have to wonder: Is this the big guy’s way of saying hands to yourself, Cubs fans? I’d look into it.

Marlins 9 – 2 Astros: The Marlins had a sixth run sixth inning ending the impossible dream of the Astros to gain a split in Miami. All Sean West had to do was not screw up and he did an admirable job of that going six innings and giving up just one run. The short lived spurt that Houston had in the Central now appears to be about as alive and well as … as … sorry folks, I’m not in metaphor mode yet. Pardon me for this inconvenience.

Reds 7 – 0 Nationals: My best wishes to the fans and media who had to sit through this travesty. I mean … YAH REDS!!!! But aside from that, the Stockings can take solace in Bronson “frat boy rock” Arroyo coming away with a complete game shutout. He wrote a song called “Complete Game Shutout” that should be available on iTunes in a few days so be on the look out for it. The win puts the Nats on the fast track to another top overall pick in the draft where, if San Diego State fireballer Stephen Strasburg re-enters, we can all tune in to watch him get picked AGAIN by Washington. I’ll wake you when the madness is over.

Rockies 10 – 1 Pirates: I still can’t fathom Jason Marquis doing anything but being a perpetual disappointment. But on this night he wasn’t half bad. Dude gave up three hits and one run in seven innings of work while his posse roughed up Pittsburgh starter Paul Maholm to the tune of seven runs. The Rockies are creeping closely to re-igniting Rocktober fever in Denver while the Pirates are headed toward almost 20 years of baseball irrelevance. At least football season is on the horizon.

Your N.L. Central tasty treat of the day: Mike Rivera, 2-4, 2 HR, 5 RBI

Your N.L. Central crap sandwich of the day: Matt Capps, .2 IP, 3 H, 4 ER, 0 K

N.L. Central Playoff-o-meter: (GBoWC: Games back of Wild Card lead)
1. St. Louis | 64-52 | –
2. Chicago | 58-55 | 4.5
GB (5 GBoWC)
3. Houston | 56-59 | 7.5 GB (8 GBoWC)

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1 Comment

Filed under Chicago Cubs, Cincinnati Reds, Houston Astros, Milwaukee Brewers, Pittsburgh Pirates

One response to “Central Booking: Slow Day in the Streets

  1. Danny Mehigan

    hey jackass. i realize the dream is probably dead, but considering the brewers have a better record than the astros, don’t you think they should be in the “Playoff-o-meter” countdown?

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