Central Booking: ROCK FLAG AND EAGLE!

by Andy Paschen

Cubs – Pirates: Postponed. I had tickets to go to this athletic contest and I actually took the two-stop El ride to Wrigley to catch the game. But alas, I simply stood in the Wrigley concourse for an hour or so instead, watching super bad-ass jet fighters scream overhead because Chicago’s Air & Water Show was going on. There’s nothing more patriotic than an F/A-18 Hornet soaring a few thousand feet in the air to remind North Korea who has bigger military balls. That’s what the red, white and blue is all about people.

U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!

U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!

On a separate note, I managed to see a young man wearing a number Jacque Jones authentic jersey, and I realized two thing: One, a straightcashhomey.net would have been very proud of him. Two, jersey tees are infinitely cooler than jerseys. If you buy an ungodly expensive jersey, only one of two things are most likely going to happen.

1. The player you picked is one of the best players on the team for years to come (a la Derrick Rose, Albert Pujols or Brian Burlacher) and everyone else in the stadium is going to have the same jersey. That blows. Nobody wants to be the 300th person in a section to be wearing the same thing, especially since the the fat guy next to you is a raging prick.

2. The player you picked ends up having a few forgettable seasons with your club and you are now burdened with a $150+ embarrassment that you either have to wear or throw away.

The jersey tee solves both of these problems. Because they are only around $20+, you don’t have to go with the safe pick and you won’t feel like an asshole if you decide to buy a Felix Pie jersey tee and he ends up blowing dick/getting traded. In fact, jersey tees with exceptional failure on them are like a fine wine, they only get better with age. What Brewer fan wouldn’t want a Jeromy Burnitz jersey tee? What Cub fan wouldn’t rock shirt with Terry Mulholland’s name on the back? I rest my case.

Nationals 5 – 4 Reds: The most awful team in baseball manages to plate two in the 8th off of ancient relic Arthur Rhodes )how are you still pitching?) to send the Reds to 50-67. Jonny Gomes went 2-4 with a dinger and 3 RBI for the Reds, who are fast approaching a Nationals level of suck.

Astros 8 – 5 Brewers: Houston scored 4 in the 8th and 9th inning of Sunday’s game to rally past the pitching deprived Brewers. Milwaukee had the lead late, but they couldn’t complete the three-game sweep of the ‘Stros because David WeathersMitch Stetter aren’t good at throwing the ball over the plate and past the bats of the opposing team. Both teams are middling in the division (Houston is 57-61, Milwaukee is 58-59), but both could play spoiler to the Cubs’ playoff hopes with series later in the season.

Cardinals 7 – 5 Padres: The Cardinals just keep chugging along, extending their comfortable lead in the division because of the rainout in Chicago. Today was a day of comebacks in all of the N.L. Central games, as Colby Rasmus hit a two-run, game-winning home run in the bottom of the 9th after Yadier Molina had tied it up earlier in the inning via the classic RBI single (an oldie, but a goodie). In San Diego’s defense, they are the Padres, which means they aren’t very good at the whole “winning baseball games” philosophy that seems to have caught on in other parts of the country.

Your N.L. Central tasty treat of the day: Geoff Blum, 2-5, 1 HR, 4 RBI
Your N.L. Central crap sandwich of the day: David Weathers,
L – .2 IP, 2 H, 3 ER, 2 BB,

N.L. Central Playoff-o-meter: (GBoWC: Games back of Wild Card lead)
1. St. Louis | 67-52 | –
2. Chicago | 60-55 | 5
GB (3.5 GBoWC)
3. Milwaukee | 58-59 | 8 GB (6.5 GBoWC)


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