One More Move?!?!?!

It's about as simple a move as pawn takes rook. Or whatever it is.

It's about as simple a move as pawn takes rook. Or whatever it is.

By Josh Mosley

I won’t beat around the bush: I don’t like the Boston Red Sox. That’s mostly ESPN’s fault. And 2004 Yankees. And Jimmy Fallon (Fever Pitch?!?!?! REALLY?!?!?!?!). But still, if things shake out right, the Red Sox might have been involved in two of the Cardinals most significant front office moves of the season. Having already given me wowsers in my trousers with this move, another may be on the way.

According to the STL Post Dispatch, the Cards are one of the many teams vying for the services of recently released BoSox pitcher John Smoltz.

Intrigued you are says Master Yoda. Smoltz is an upgrade and could be the oft-referred to “missing piece” that gives St. Louis an advantage over the other NL hopefuls. Let me kick a little something down to you, right now.

The first and most glaring statement that needs to be made is that John Smoltz won a Cy Young as a starter during the hey day of the Braves winning 210 games. Then when you thought he was glue factory bound, he came in and became baseball best and cleanest (suck it, Eric Gagne) closer, saving 154 games for the Bravos. He’s a pinch starter for the Cards if they get overextended in the playoffs with innings.

On his way to victory lane. And possibly a toilet seat.

On his way to victory lane. And possibly a toilet seat.

If you need a guy with big game starting playoff experience and god forbid one of the staff aces sprains a fallopian tube, plug John Smoltz in there. That’s not desirable though seeing as he is teetering on the ever so delicate MLB line of “regular old” and “old balls old.” Plus the guy had an ERA of over eight in eight starts with Boston. So the rotation is NOT what I really had in mind. But that shouldn’t be an issue if they do what I have in mind. Because…

Jason Motte is ten pounds of monkey crap in a five pound bag (previous quote attributed to Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. That’s two early 2000’s WWF references for the Swing today!!!). Ever since he blew an opening day save against the god forseaken Pittsburgh Pirates, he has been anything but sunny side up. In fact, his suck has been on par with this classic joint.

So where would Smoltz fit? Right in the Motte spot. Dave Duncan would have the enviable task of having Trevor Miller, Dennis Reyes, Kyle McClellan, Smoltz and Ryan Franklin and possibly having to sit someone off the playoff roster. Don’t ask me who I’d leave off because I don’t know. But the fact is that whenever the Cards have clunkered this season, its been either anemic offense or shaky late inning relief. The offensive concerns have been addressed as much as possible by the front office.

If John Mozeliak has the onions to make one more move in his bag and is willing to pay him the pro-rated minimum and leave the rest of the buck on the Red Sox, I don’t think he’ll regret it.

And at the very least I can forgive the Red Sox for breaking my heart in 2004 and saturating the sports waves for much of the past decade. In fact, I may even go on record to say that I wouldn’t kick a Boston player in the nards if I ever saw them in public….

I’d probably just spit on them. Mature, huh?

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