Disney movies are faaaantastic. Seriously, who didn’t cry when Mufasa was horribly trampled by wildebeests in Lion King? Who didn’t swoon when Sebastian, the single greatest singing Jamaican crab in cinema history, serenaded Ariel and that prince guy with “Kiss the Girl” in The Little Mermaid? Who didn’t crap their pants when they saw Toy Story for the first time? Not a pair of clean undies in the entire audience.
Today I would like to recognize a great Disney film that just did not get the recognition it deserved: A Goofy Movie. America, I know what you are thinking: lame. Wrong! That movie is fantastic. You’ve got Pauly Shore, adult humor and great music all mixed into one. If you haven’t seen it, give it a whirl — it’s amazing. If you have seen it, enjoy this clip and find a place where you can sing along:
To the games …
Chicago 7 – 1 Padres: So the Cubs … win? I’m unfamiliar with those words being strung together like that. Aramis Ramirez and Milton Bradley left the yard and Rich Harden went seven one-hit innings to beat the unbelievably bad Padres for the first time in the series. Ted’ll fill you in later with his final post as our foreign correspondent (San Diego is in Mexico, right?) The big question: Could the Cubs make up ground in the N.L. Central or Wild Card before heading north to play the L.A. Dodgers?
Cardinals 3 – 2 Dodgers: … no. Matt Holliday plated a run in the top of the ninth with a sacrifice fly and Jonathon Broxton suffered his first loss of the season. Broxton has been playing as well as Megan Fox acts; his ERA has gone up nearly a full run from 2.15 to 3.05 since July 1st.
Pirates 3 – 1 Brewers: Remember when the Brewers were good at baseball? Those were the days. Bill Hall would sock dingers over the fence while C.C. Sabathia would mow down pitchers like a Colombian drug-dealer mows down innocent civilians trying to pilfer some sweet, sweet nose candy. Paul Maholm made Milwaukee hitters look inept, and former Cubbie/reportedly huge jackass Ronny Cedeno parked a poor pitch into the stands. Remember when Milwaukee had won 17 straight over the Pirates? They just got swept. Karma!
Giants 1 – 0 Reds: Nate Schierholtz – I have no idea who he is either – doubled in a run, ending a 17-inning scoreless streak for the uber-douche: Bronson Arroyo. The Giants and Rockies are probably not going to overtake the Dodgers in the West, but they certainly are making it a possibility, considering they are only 4.5 and 3.5 games out respectively.
Astros 6 – 3 Marlins: The Astros need to stop John Kerry-ing this season: They’re good! They’re bad! They’re up! They’re down! They’re old! They’re … wait … they’re still old. In this contest they weren’t so much good as Florida was bad, committing three errors despite an 11 hit attack. Just for reference (I’m looking at you Chicago Cubs), the Marlins became the first N.L. team to have 10+ hits in 15 straight games since 1929. I’m not sure the Cubs have 15 games of 10+ hits this season.