According to, the phrase “bitchassness” is defined as “overall stank attitude towards through words, facial expressions and/or song.”
We’ve all done it. The only guy who hasn’t is my man, Jesus (the real one, not the fictitious guy portrayed by Ray Allen in the classic Spike Lee joint “He Got Game”).
In that regard, rolling one’s eyes, telling someone to fuck off and diss raps are considered bitchassness. Sad but true, Hov and Nas. You weren’t being fly. So the fact that Albert Pujols exhibited some bitchass characteristics shouldn’t surprise. In fact, he has done it before. But that doesn’t mean I won’t call him on it.

The scene goes like this: the Birds are up by a five spot on those lowly Fathers from Whale’s Vagina. Padres right fielder Will Venable hit a pooper of a ground ball down the first base line to Pujols who scooped up the rock and tagged Venable. Innocent enough, right?


Apparently on the tag, Pujols felt as if Venable threw him a ‘bow trying to avoid the tag. Albert took exception. He took exception to this. Words were exchanged (1 bitch), stank looks were batted back and forth (2 bitch), benches cleared (red bitch) and sides were separated (blue bitch).

Who just rolls over and gets tagged like it’s nothing? Nobody, dammit. So why is Albert’s jock getting all caught up in his junk? I couldn’t tell you. But if the 2006/2008 MVP debates and his run-ins with the media tell us anything is that Albert doesn’t always play well with others.

He’s the best player in the league, a once in a lifetime hitter and all that jazz. I recognize this. I love the guy as a player. But he also came off like a baby back bitch in this instance.

Albert: get over it, guy. It ain’t worth it.


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