By Josh Mosley
The Cardinals are up by more than 10 games in the first weekend of September. Ideally this would make said weekend enough of a success but God gave with two hands this particular year: in this case it was the Missouri Tigers leaving orange and blue skid marks up and down the turf of the Edward Jones Dome on opening weekend of the college football season. Oh and the Rams played this weekend too but that’s not supremely important.
Join me for the pwntastic weekend that was in terms of sports in the state of Missouri. You’ll thank me later. Seriously, you will.
Friday: Not only is it the weekend but it’s the first weekend of FOOTBALL!!!! You feel me sweet tooth?!?!?!! After the turd-fu cheese sandwiches that were the Thursday night games that were low on scoring but high on the G status scale (Thanks for holdin’ it down, Mr. Blount.. If I’m ever in Eugene, I owe you a few drinks), things could only go up, right? That would have to wait till the following day as the Cardinals had my attention on Friday night with the Rams game on tape delay from KC. Wainwright had the typical goods against the Pirates through the first half of the game before the Pirates remembered that they were, in fact, a professional team and not auditioning for the American Legion. Despite taking a 6-5 lead into the sixth inning, the Bucs gave up late dingers to Albert Pujols (it amazes me that he is STILL getting pitched too) and Ryan Ludwick (his three run Jackson to dead center capped his first career five hit game and a five RBI effort) to push the lead to a touchdown, where it would eventually stay. Cards win a wild one, 14-7. Ironically, it’s the perfect score to get me psyched for a weekend of pigskin. Meanwhile, the Rams won the Governor’s Cup (yay?) with a 17-9 win over the Chef’s.
PLUS 10 for the Cards scoring in double digits. MINUS 50 for the Rams winning the St. Louis pro sports team battle of Sept. 4, 2009 by only a field goal. This is going to be a LONG NFL season, St. Louis.
Saturday It’s pouring outside as I wake up. This can’t be good for one of the teams prepping to play in the Jones Dome. Turns out, the good guys came out on top. After settling at a bible study downtown (it was actually a bar but whatever) the new look Missouri Tigers got down to giving the business to the Illini.
Sophomore Blaine Gabbert (who looks Aryan enough that it wouldn’t shock many if he spent his summers at Hitler Youth sleep away camp) came out and did what I have been hoping/silently believing he would do since this spring: he pwned. And not just on a “good for the first time starter not screwing up too many times and pulling out the win” kind of pwning. It was the good kind of pwning. The kind that would warrant another long running quotation mark smushed adjective if I hadn’t used all my juice on the first one. Gabbert went 25-33 for 319 yards and three touchdowns while adding another rushing score. Danario Alexander set career highs in receiving yards (132) and catches (10), looking like the guy who originally beat out Jeremy Maclin for the starting receiver spot two years ago. And the Mizzou defense that had more holes in it than Pfizer last season tightened up and kept the juice in the bottle all game. Has America slept on the 2009 Tigers? I’ve been saying yes for a while but the season is still young. But for now? Not too shabby, guys. Tigers win 37-9.
Meanwhile in Pittsburgh, while all of St. Louis was heavy into football, the Cards were taken to the brink by the Bucs. That was until Ryan Ludwick tied the game at 1-1 in the eighth inning and gave the Pirates fans what they wanted: FREE BASEBALL. After 17 straight losing seasons, you’d think they’d be owed something good. An extra inning win against the Redbirds would be a nice gift right?
Not quite sure who had the idea to pitch it to Pujols with nobody on in the top of the tenth but it clearly wasn’t the best one. Pinch hit solo dinger. Game over. Cards win 2-1. Good day for this guy. Bad one for all those Illinois loving, Pirate fans. Tough break, folks.
Sunday: Only thing that would make this weekend better would be a Cards sweep. Can’t win all of them. I won’t go through too many details but I will say that the Cards blew a late inning lead and the Bucs ACTUALLY won the game, 6-5. Franklin still leads the league in saves. The Cards still lead the division. And the Cubs are still the Cubs. So the world is still on the correct axis.