By Josh Mosley
Awards don’t really mean shit. Especially after week one. And recognition only goes as far as what you do with it the next week. With that being said, authoritative types showed Truman and boys some love after a week one clownfest against the Illini.
1) Blaine Gabbert was named 12 OFFENSIVE PLAYER OF THE WEEK and is better than every quarterback in the nation!! He outjuiced Juice and he’ll be better than Colt, Tim, Sam, Pryor and the other clowns that tWWL tells you to look out for. Heisman in ’09 for Gabs? Bet on it!!!! It’s either him or that flaming douche fungi James Clausen from Notre Dame.
B) The Tigers cracked the top 25 at, wait for it, number 25!!!!!!! Next stop: Pasadena for the National Title game. They’ll curb stomp the Longhorns on Homecoming and again at Cowboys Stadium in the Big 12 ‘ship. Okie State, Sooners and all others involved: take notice. There’s new hotness in town and they go by the Missouri Tigers.
I wish I believed all of what I just wrote but the fact is that we might be two or three years away from that actually being the case. Statistically, Blaine Train outdid Mizzou dignitaries Chase McDaniels and Bradley F. Smith in their Missouri debuts behind center going for 319 and 3TD’s in the air and 52 yards and a TD on the ground.
Basically, everyone watch out for Blaine. He’ll be the next Tim Tebow. Except he actually bangs chicks rather than rubbing through two pairs of Levi’s jorts every weekend after dry humping random Gator Bait.