Interns: America, your horror movies are the weakest of sauce.

Hello again readers, since my last post I’ve seen a number of movies, read a ton of reviews and heard input from friends about certain movies they want to see. Through all of this I’ve begun to realize something … movies as a whole are no longer trying to be inventive and really push the issue with their content. For the most part they are just trying to make money. [editor’s note: A little young to be this cynical, David.]

Now I guess I can’t say there is really anything wrong with that because that’s the business world. However, there was once a time in film when movies had a purpose. People didn’t go just to be entertained; they went for the experience and the joy of seeing what was then art. Now a days studios keep sending out movies that they know will bring in the cash. For example, this week, Couples Retreat came out staring Vince Vaughn. I’m not saying that the movie was terrible, I’m just saying that before seeing it, I knew what to expect. I knew I was going to get Vaughn’s usual shtick and that there would be laughs here and there; which is exactly what the movie was, your typical blockbuster comedy that didn’t bring anything new to the table except for maybe it’s beautiful location. I just don’t get it, has the movie industry run out of fresh ideas? I mean it’s like Andy Paschen’s game at a bar, you know what to expect ladies but yet you still end up giving him your time. [editor’s note: It’s true, my game is weak. Unless you see me at the bar, then helloooooo ladies, let’s rap.]

And one last thing before I get to my recommendations, another movie that I won’t be recommending that just came out is Paranormal Activity. This is the 15,000 dollar budget movie that has been doing midnight showings for the past couple weeks and is just now hitting a majority of theaters. Let me first state that I think horror movies are a waste of time, especially American made horror movies.

I think it’s terrible that studios waste money on movies that are two hours of blood and guts without a plot, yet they know that the public will come see the film. I don’t know what it is inside of people that like seeing other people getting slaughtered, but I really think some great movies could be made with the money spent on horror movies. Back to the topic at hand though, a lot of my friends are amped up to see Paranormal Activity, but in the end I think they are going to be disappointed. Yea they’ll be scared, but that’s all they’re gonna be. They aren’t going to come out of the movie saying, “Wow! That’s the best scary movie ever.” No they are just gonna be scared for a while and take nothing away from the movie. People need to understand that you don’t just have to go to the movies to be entertained, you can go and learn something and experience something beautiful.

What To Watch For:
This week I’ve only got one recommendation for movies coming out soon, mainly because there’s not much of a selection this week, and I’ve already told you about two of the movies.

My Recommendation: Black Dynamite. Now if you think Samuel L. Jackson is a bad mother-fer, then you’re going to love this movie. Not because Samuel L. Jackson is in it, but because Michael Jai White is a badder mother-fer. This is a movie that isn’t trying to be anything more then what it is, which is basically a farce of Shaft. When a movie’s villain is called nothing more then “The Man,” you know there is something special. “The Man” is corrupting Black Dynamite’s streets with drugs and alcohol so what does he decide to do? Kick some ass as if he was Chuck Norris’ brother from another mother. Even though the movie is shot like a 1970’s porno (not like I would know anything about that stuff) I still think you should go out and see it, cause it will make you laugh. I mean come on any movie that has a buff black man runnin the streets and speakin all sassy and what not has to be pretty good.

This movie was based on a Stephen king book … no f—in’ way. [editor’s note: NO SWEARING!]

My Recommendation:
Stand By Me. Another one my favorite, Stand By Me is another great friendship story and growing up story. Based on the novella The Body by Stephen King four boys travel into the countryside to find the dead body of one of their peers. There are a number of reasons to love this movie, but two reasons why I always love watching it are because of the interaction between the child actors and the music.

The four actors are Wil Wheaton, the great River Phoenix who died before reaching his prime as an actor (now we are left with his lunatic of a brother Joaquin), Corey Feldman and Jerry O’Connel. When you’re watching this movie take a second to notice how well these actors make us feel like the journey they’re on is real. Not to say this plot is impossible, but the chances of it actually happening in real life are very slim. However, you just feel for these kids and everything they go through, that you basically forget it’s a movie. You are to relate to the bonds they have with each other and you just get caught up in the story.

Then there is the music in this movie. Classics like “Stand By Me”, “Rockin’ Robin”, “Great Balls of Fire” and “Lollipop”, make this movie something really special. The music comes in at perfect times to show joy, sorrow, and excitement, at all times it only enhances the movie. The music becomes it’s own character and you look forward to hearing what song is coming up next. Stand By Me is great alternative to a horror film, it has it’s thrilling moments, but you’re going to take something out of it and not to mention Kiefer Sutherland plays a badass in it. You can’t go wrong with Stand By Me.



Filed under The Rest

3 responses to “Interns: America, your horror movies are the weakest of sauce.

  1. Jordan

    Wow, this kid is some kind of talent…so engaging!

  2. Jordan

    wow this kid is talented, really engaging stuff!

  3. Hi, I’m trying to get in touch with u, David. Want to see if you would be interested in a job doing internet marketing for a horror movie. If you are email me. thanks and look forward to speaking with u soon.
    Arlene Knight, (310) 461-1978

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