Arroyo Just Don’t Give A Damn

So bro-tastic. So roided-out

As everyone and their mama knows, there has been a whole bunch of hullabaloo about steriods in baseball over the last few years and how they have destroyed the game and/or just been the basis of another era.

Questions: Do records from this day in age deserve asterisks? Do they count at all? What about Babe Ruth, who only played against whites? What about Ted Williams and company, who missed prime years fighting for good ol’ America in World War II? Is anybody listening to me?

Answers: Nobody knows. But do you know who doesn’t give it a shit? Our man Bronson Arroyo.

And we know he doesn’t give a shit because he came out and said it in a fantastic interview with USA Today earlier this week. You can read the details here, but it centers around Arroyo’s general disdain for the establishment and rules. Fantastic.

Among the highlights, in my opinion:

Central Booking: Slow Day in the Streets

by Josh Mosley
Only nine games went down in the majors last night. And lucky for you, the Central had five of those games. Join us won’t you?

Central Booking: Where six teams get processed everyday

by Andy Paschen

We’re going to try something new here at The Swing: Central Booking. I got into work early today, poured myself some coffee into a fancy red mug, sat down in my swivel chair and then … nothing. So I says to myself, I says, “Peter Nincompoop (that’s what I call myself sometimes), why don’t you check out what happened in every N.L. Central game and do a quick post on that for The Swing?”

Red-Legged News and Notes

 

This may be the notebook you really wanted, but life ain't fair, kids.

Q: What happens when I don’t watch the Reds on a consistent basis and you are forced to cower in fear of your co-workers around the watercooler due to your lack of Reds knowledge?

A: You get a notebook! Well, not like a Five-Star middle school-style one with sweet designs on it, but more like an update on the biggest news to come out of the ‘Natti in the last week or so all in one place. Sorry to disappoint. But I still suggest you read on, because we’ve got a ton of injuries, some player movement, a pitcher answering to my beck and call and, last but not least, fun games with a bored beat writer.

Yo Bronson … What the hell, man?

Arroyo's full-time job if he keeps this up

Part of my job – other than finding a way to work a legitimate amount of hours while still losing money thanks to a preposterously low salary and an absurdly high cost of living in Chicago – is to chart pitches in order to put together scouting reports for Major League Baseball teams. Sometimes it’s very easy. Other times, when pitchers throw different pitches at the same speeds, it can get a little difficult. One of the biggest offenders is none other than the Cincinnati Reds starter Bronson Arroyo.

When The Anxiety Is Real

One anxiety issue I won't make fun of...

Lately, there have been a boatload of major leaguers reporting to the disabled list with “anxiety issues.”  Some of those have been publicly discussed before the issue is at hand, like Zack Greinke of the Royals. He was a top prospect and solid rookie who completely fell apart and turned into one of the league’s worst starters a few years back. He took time off to meet with a psychologist, marry his girl, get his head right, and look at him now – he’s literally pwning the entire American League on his own – and even the National League during Interleague Play.

Awful Comebacks, MWS Edition

Give it up already ... You're done!

A few weeks ago, Cincinnati starting pitcher and resident stud Edinson Volquez went on the disabled list with some mid-back spasms. He complained, probably jokingly, that he never wanted to spend any more time on the DL because he was so bored. So as soon as his 15-day DL stint ended, Dusty Baker sent him to the mound in St. Louis against the Birds.

On a scale of 1 to awful, I’d say it went pretty awful. He pitched a grand total of one inning, gave up two hits, one run and threw a whopping 24 pitches. That, ladies and gentlemen, is not a quality start. He was removed after said first inning with numbness in his ring and pinky fingers with symptoms of what they are calling “elbow inflammation.” I have no idea how that came up while he was out with a back injury, but needless to say, it was one of the worst comebacks I’ve seen in some time. By the way, he’s back on the disabled list. Adjust your lives accordingly.

The Crew sweeps the Reds. The Reds are still better. Say wha??

Really hit the shit outta that one, eh Meat? Classic.

Okay, I’ll be the first to admit I completely agree with the general idea of Brandon Phillips’ statement (Read it, you sonofabitch!) after Sunday’s game between the Brewers and the Reds. As a former writer that tried his damndest (Is that a word? Probably not. I’m sticking with it.) to get interesting quotes and almost always whiffed thanks to public relations directors and media coaches sucking the truth out of athletes, I love when athletes actually tell us how they feel. Of course, the majority of the media rips them to shreds for being selfish, arrogant or something of that ilk about 17 seconds after they complain of getting boring quotes.

To quote one of the best scenes in one of the best baseball movies, Bull Durham:

Crash Davis: It’s time to work on your interviews.
Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: My interviews? What do I gotta do?
Crash Davis: You’re gonna have to learn your clichés. You’re gonna have to study them, you’re gonna have to know them. They’re your friends. Write this down: “We gotta play it one day at a time. I’m just happy to be here. Hope I can help the ballclub. I just want to give it my best shot, and the good Lord willing, things will work out.”

You’re with me, Votto.

Chris Berman: Fronting as Cincy newspaperman? Stay tuned.

There are certain buzzwords or phrases in journalism that are absolute no-no’s. The personal ‘you’, opening a lede with a question, getting to hear the phrase “you’re hired”, just to name a few. While it’s different for the written word compared to the spoken version, Chris Berman of ESPN fame is a walking mystery. I understand he’s been there since the start. But he’s honestly a joke these days. Literally, his entire shtick is to yuk it up with the 13 other talking heads on NFL Countdown and to turn athlete’s names into “witty” phrases. Anybody who has heard him talk for more than 30 minutes wants to kill two people – themsevles and Berman. I go on this rant for two reasons: one, because I hate Berman. Two, a certain Cincinnati Enquirer copyeditor channeled his or her own Berman for a headline a few days ago, and considering the Enquirer is one of my few sources of Reds’ news, it really ground my gears.

But that technically is neither here nor there. But do you know what is? (Boom. A question, and a personal ‘you’. In YO face, established and blog-hating journalism!)

He’s not drunk, just dizzy … or maybe both?

The hell is going out here? He wasn't supposed to hit it that far.

The Reds received some good news, finally, about 1B Joey Votto. He has missed nine (and counting) games since May 7 with the flu and dizziness. He was diagnosed with an inner ear infection after a solid week or so of mystified doctors. I was fairly convinced he was a witch, but whatever. He won’t be on the disabled list, and he’ll be back on the field in a few days.

Also, Edinson Volquez is headed to the DL retroactive to Sunday, which means he’ll be eligible to return on June 2. Volquez has been suffering from back spasms. Homer Bailey has been called up from AAA Louisville and will get the start on Saturday against the Indians in the Battle for Ohio.

As for this week’s first series, the Reds dropped two of three to the Phils. Ahead is all you need to know: